just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
