i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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