Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
