There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
