i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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