enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You are the jesus of drinking
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
