sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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