Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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