Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
