Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize