I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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