if i can run in heels then i can drive
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
