Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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