Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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