boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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