there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
