Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
