I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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