Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
