Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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