I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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