The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
