Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
