My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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