Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
