Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
