I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
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it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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