the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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