singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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