nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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