i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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