Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
