He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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