Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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