Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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