girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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