She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
