That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
