Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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