Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
