Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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