I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
