he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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