she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
