The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
