Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
