to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize