So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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