Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
