omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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