were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
