you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
