I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
