I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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