I like my sex mixed with concussions.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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