She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Someone came in the potted fern
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
