mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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