when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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