dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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