i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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