you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize