theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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