Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
