I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
