maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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