i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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