your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
