dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
