I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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