Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
