too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
