shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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