Me too!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
