it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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